changing the relationship status

One of the first pieces of advice I was given after getting engaged was to pay attention to the people I am surrounding myself with. I heard this more than once. My then-boyfriend and I had JUST announced that we decided to stay together forever…what were my loved ones trying to tell me?

 

I’m a little over half way through my engagement now, and I may have figured it out. Weddings tend to weed out” people all on their own. It’s kind of scary. Those you thought would be most excited are preoccupied with other things, and friends you didn’t know you had will truly rise to occasions you didn’t know would exist! It’s a pivotal time and it feels like a step towards growing up. Bonds are growing and shriveling all at once and you only need to look up to see it happening.

 

Changing the Relationship Staus - Engaged

I tried to ignore what I was seeing early on, but as time passes I have found that I am much more receptive to it. I think the older you get, the more you start to understand what “seasonal people” really are. Just like plants will change with the seasons, so do we, and sometimes that means outgrowing one another. Some relationships have deepened, and I am still grateful for that.

I wonder how many other brides and grooms feel these changes. Maybe it’s our age but it might just be part of being engaged, too. 

8 Comments

  1. December 28, 2017 / 9:56 am

    This is so true. I have found it hard to let go of past relationships that have faded out. Best friends in high school have become simply FB friends…and sometimes not even that. Yet as we grow, and as our family and marriages grow, our circle of friends does, as well. I find that as I get older, deeper friendships have occurred. The right people come in and out of our lives at the right time 🙂

    • December 28, 2017 / 10:32 am

      Very well put, Keri! I’m glad to hear that things are still looking up, thank you for sharing. 🖤

  2. December 28, 2017 / 4:47 pm

    Wow never thought about it that way, but certain life changes do have a way of revealing who will continue to be in your life.

  3. Janiece
    January 7, 2018 / 6:02 pm

    I am trying to think of other major events in our lives that test the waters of our relationships with the people around us, especially those we consider close friends; however, I think a wedding and/or just being engaged is a major event down the road that seems to reveal ourselves and others. You think birthdays and graduations are important, which they certainly are, depending on whether that person values them, but something about getting married…that’s life changing on all sides.

  4. February 15, 2018 / 1:43 pm

    I think your thoughts are so true, but it’s also important to be available in the future for when those friends are back in your life to be receptive. I am about to celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary, and it’s amazing how after many years of marriage and a couple kids later I’m finding myself reconnecting with friends who were just at a different season of life than me when I was a newlywed. I guess what I’m saying is to always be kind through all the changes.

    • February 15, 2018 / 9:40 pm

      Good point, I’m going to try my best! I’ve had friends return to my life before, so I imagine as seasons change, it’ll happen again. Thanks Erin 🖤

  5. February 15, 2018 / 2:59 pm

    Huge changes often reveal the true colors of the individuals that surround us. Cliche, as it is the only constant, is change. I wish you nothing but happiness and blessings on your journey to wedded bliss

    • February 15, 2018 / 9:47 pm

      Thank you Tachira! Unfortunate but true. But it’s only become a saying now because it’s so relevant.

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